We Had Lunch - He Avoids Me Now
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
There's this guy I like, who asked me out to lunch. We only casually discussed it and nothing else was said about it. A couple of weeks passed by and I figured he lost interest or forgot, or whatever. But then, just when I was thinking that, he asked me again! So we set a date and time. The day that we were to meet for lunch, he waited until the last minute to call me w/ the hours of operaton for the place we were going to. (I have a strict lunch schedule at work and he had taken my # the night before for this purpose). I also figured, well, now he has my #... Maybe he'll start calling me? Anyway, we went, ate lunch, discussed topics such as what we do for a living, what classes we were taking at church - innocent stuff, etc.
Now, all of the sudden, it's like he's trying to avoid me. He never calls me... never has - other than that one time to tell me when the place opened. And he never returns my calls when I leave messages asking him about problems I'm having with my website builder (that's what he does for a living). I'm thinking, "either he's avoiding me, or he just a bad business person." He hardly ever e-mails me back either. He has never taken the initiative to send a mail first, either. Yet, when we see each other at church, he smiles and looks glad to see me. Until I smile back and say, "hi, (guys' name here)..." Then he gets this look on his face as if I have "cooties."
What gives? Does he like me? is he nervous and that's why he looks at me like that? I mean, what do expect a person to do when you smile at them and say Hi... run screaming? I think my response was quite normal. Do you think he may have been interested at first, then changed his mind due to something I said at lunch? ...Or was he just trying to drum up business by asking me to lunch as a potential client? Or is he just trying to make a friend? Or all of the above? I'm so confused. What really ticks me off is the fact that I got all dolled up for lunch (It was casually day at work that day) and he showed up wearing a polo shirt (wrinkled collar)and khaki pants! I guess my whole point is this: why in the world did he ask me out in the first place?
Well, he took the first step which is always a big risk for people. And for all you know, he dressed up - I know lots of guys who wear ONLY jeans and for whom khaki pants would be a big, big deal. I wouldn't dismiss him so quickly. Maybe he feels that he took the first step, and you are only responding with work issues, to "use him". I would invite him out to lunch now. Find a restaurant you like and tell him you've always wanted to try it out - and set a date. You might find that he was worried you were only interested in him for work reasons.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com