Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been going out with my girilfriend for a long time now. its been about 11 months and every now and then i always do something stupid to mess things up but thank God she always forgives me. We have only had about 2 or 3 times where we have had major problems i think. Anyways, This last one i didnt expect and i dont think was my fault at all. One of her friends came over to my house 3 times. I had no idea that she liked me because she would always talk about how she thought my girlfriend deserved better than me. She was thinking something and i kept asking what she was thinking. The Thought had crossed my mind that she may like me but i just blew it off. I thought she was going to tell me her "secret" that she cut herself all the time. My girlfriend had told me this and i had seen some scars or what i thought to be scars on her wrists. I didnt guess it, which was what she was wanting me to do, because i thought i might offend her greatly. She told me to close my eyes, which i dont know why i didnt just think about other possiblities, but i closed my eyes and she was leaning in to kiss me, i pulled back but she still kissed me. I didnt enjoy it and it lasted only for a second. We were on my couch and she was sort of leaning over onto me so i couldnt really pull away. I was so shocked and confused that i didnt know what to say.
I was shocked that she did it, flattered that yet another girl liked me, but upset because it was wrong and she knew it. I told her that i regreted it and she said she didnt want me to. She was trying to make it seem as if it was nothing. We went to church and I knew I had to tell my girlfriend because i love her and i know she is the one i am supposed to marry which means i can kep nothing from her. Now me and my girl are trying to get through this mess.
The girl who kissed me, Amy, is sticking to a defense that "I didnt pull away" That still doesnt change the fact that she did it right? I admitted that i shouldve pulled away and i shouldve never let that situation happen. So I thought i did the right thing by telling my girl. I love her and i want to work things out. Am I to blame more than Amy? Did I do the right thing? What should I say to Amy and my girlfriend? Please help me, I am in terrible need.
Thanks so much.
Damien from TN
You did nothing wrong and explained it to your girlfriend. Enough said.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com