After a Year She Left Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR AND WE JUST BROKE UP LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO CAUSE WE WAS GROWING APART CAUSE WE WAS ALWAYS TOGETHER, AND I WAS KINDA OVERPROTECTIVE WITH HER AT TIMES, SO IN A WAY CAUSE OF ME BEING LIKE THAT SHE SAYS SHE LOST INTEREST IN ME.
SHE FEELS SHE SHOULD TALK TO ANOTHER BOY TO SEE HOW HER FEELINGS ARE, BUT SHE STILLS CALLS ME AND WE TALK AND GO TO SLEEP ON THE PHONE AND SHE STILL ASKS ME TO TAKE HER PLACES AND STUFF.
I REALLY WANT HER BACK BUT IT LIKE THE MORE I SAY IT THE MORE SHE PULLS AWAY SO IVE STOP SAYING IT. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE DOES SHE STILL WANT TO BE WITH ME?DOES SHE STILL LOVES ME? WHAT SHOULD I DO? PLUS SHE IS THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Obviously she did NOT lose interest in you because she is still spending a ton of time and energy on you. So something else happened. She probably felt smothered by you and that she could not grow and learn how to be an adult woman. No woman wants to be treated like a little girl by their guy. You're supposed to be her partner in life, supporting her dreams and helping her grow. If you were squashing her at every opportunity, she had to leave you to mature.
She's undoubtedly worried that if she lets you back into her life she will get more of the same. So you have to prove to her in real time that you ARE able to be there by her side and supportive without being squashing. Show that to her daily. Find ways to encourage her, to talk about her dreams, to support her growth. Instead of saying "I want things to be the way they where!" (which she would hate) say things like "I want to go to XXXX with you because I know you'll love it. Keep suggesting things she'll enjoy and that support her. That is in essence what dating is all about. Then after a month or so of doing that, ask her if she likes your NEW style of dating.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com