Things are Bad - I Want to Play Hard To Get

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
i have been dating a guy who i am very much in love with,we have been seeing each other for over 2 years,i have had bad relationships in the past .so when i met this guy i had my guards up ,i knew i felt something i have never felt before,i just thought i was in love before.i done everthing i could to fight these emotions i was feeling.i pushed him away by saying and doing things to push him further away,

he said i finally accomplished something that i was in my past good at scared of being loved,so now i am confused we still spend time together but he says he wants to be friends,i needed to give him space,he started seeing other wemen.but yet we together alot and also intimate.

i know he still cares.i just dont think i give him enough space to want me,i call him all the time and when he aint with me i assume he is with someone and i really say things i shouldnt that he says that is the reason we cant be more.he said he would love for me to be his girlfriend,but we try being friends ,well i do, intimacy and spend weeks together. and then he fills smothered or tired of my company he says we are just friends i get my hopes up and get hurt again,especially finding out he sees other people.

i hate chasing him ,when i dont call him ,i start acting like i am going on ,he comes back and so charming like he really wants us,he dont say it,but i feel it or i thought.i really want him and i think he does to ,he is always here for me .and been their when i had noone to turn to,finacally,physically.i am confused,is it that i just chase him and not giving him a chance to have the same feelings he had before for me.should i play hard to get,and how? i love him so much and he knows this, Advice
I would NEVER NEVER recommend playing games with a relationship!! That is the surest way to screw things up completely and drive him away forever.

This guy cares - but for some reason every time you guys are together things go wrong and you separate again. You care - but here you are talking about playing tricks on him to make things work. It's just not right.

Obviously SOMETHING is going wrong when you two are together. You really need to focus on that and work on fixing it. He's not going to keep coming back. I seriously recommend talking to a therapist or minister or someone who can get to know your personality and what is going on. Don't just put it off and hope "things work out". You've been trying that method for a while now and it's not working. Either you make this a serious priority in your life, or you're going to lose the guy you care about. Get some help, and work on it.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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