I am the worst person at recognising something from a female as been a friendly gesture or a subtle flirt

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male

Ok this is a long(ish) one. Regarding a friend at work who is the same age as I (32). I started working with her several months ago on various projects and we have grown to be fairly close friends. The thing is that I have recently realised that I have fairly strong feelings about her, everything seems right about her for me.

I feel quite certain of my feelings and definately want to take it further but have a few things holding me back.

First, I am the worst person at recognising something from a female as been a friendly gesture or a subtle flirt so can't tell if she has been making gentle signals to let me know without making it obvious on her part. She touches me (and I her) without any discomfort between us, plays with her hair (but not when always looking at me) and she asked me out for the afternoon last Saturday to wander around a museum which was fun. She also quite often comes down stairs to my desk to ask if I have any sweets or to have a quick chat.

Apart from the touching she rested her head against my shoulder at one point which was different.

When we are talking she usually brings up the subject of her dates which turn out as one-offs and asks me for advice now and then and I have given her support in this and a few other things unrelated.

She also says that she isnt looking for a casual relationship with these random guys she sees on dates.

Now my problem is that if I want to take it further (or make my feelings known) how can I do this without destroying what I currently see as an excellent friendship...?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Simply say, "I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I have these feelings for you and I will respect however you think we should act on them. I want you to know that I don't like to see guys hurt you and it also hurts me to hear about your dates." and see where she goes with it.

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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