She's Cheating with Me

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have met someone whom I believe is the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. We have a tremendous love for one another. I see it in this person's eyes and hear it in their voice whenever we are togehter. I have had several relationships in the past, but I have found myself loving this person far more sincerley, genuienly, and deeper than I have ever loved before. The issue is not that I don't believe that they do not love me, but they are trying to get out of a 15 yr relationship with someone whom they have been involved with, but due to certain issues they have never married. They assure me that they will be living alone one day very soon as the other person involved is in the process of building themself a new home, which I know is happening as I am good friends with this individual also. I was approached by the person that I have now fallen in love with, and they have been with me every night but must always leave to keep person B from being suspicious. I questioned my g/f last night and she reassures me that she is going to tell person B in her life as soon as they move out, but due to the 15 yrs together, they just don't want to hurt this person. The biggest part of me believes that there will come a day soon in our future and we will be together for the rest of our lives, but then there is a part of me questioning my g/f's ability to be honest with me, and one day be honest with person "B". I have said I would step aside until person B is out of the home, but my g/f said she does not think she can stop seeing me, and that she does love me and does want to spend the rest of her life with me. I DON'T want to stop seeing her, because I do love her. There is nothing between my g/f and person B. No intamacies, no together times, only co-existing in the same home. I know this to be true as I am friends with both of these people. I am only looking for advice if you can give me some looking from the outside of my world. I do love this person. I am 37 years old and my g/f is 45. We both know that this decision is hopefully the lifetime decision and we will be togehter from now on. We have both had good and bad relationships, we are both very mature, we both have many things in common and we are very happy together. Can you tell me should I step aside until person "B" is out of the home even though they don't have a "relationship" any longer, but my g/f does not want to "hurt" this person by telling them that we are seeing one another? Is it time for me to test our love, and take the risk of losing who I believe is the "love of my life"? Please help. Advice
You say that you are both very mature, but it doesn't sound like your girlfriend is, regardless of her age.

Adults should be able to understand these things and if everyone is an adult things should be said. This isn't high school.

I think you should stand up for yourself, especially if she is "only co-existing in the same home."

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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