Off to college

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months but we were best friends for over a year before we started dating and he is still my very best friend. I used to have a lot of friends and have a very busy social life but now all I ever do is hang out with him which is great but he is leaving for college this summer and I am so scared because I've been hurt a lot by guys and I love him and I want to trust him but every guy I've dated has turned out to be someone that I didn't think they were and ended up hurting me and as much as I try to convince myself that he's different it's so hard to think that he won't hurt me in the end. Then when he goes to college I'll be a Senior in high school and i don't know how to start hanging out with my old friends again because I only hang out with my boyfriend right now. I am really scared about him leaving and how it will affect my life and school. Please give me some much needed help. Advice
It's really hard when you have been hurt to not project those feelings in newer relationships.

First off, there is no guarantee of anything. He may stay faithful, he may stray. You will only know when and if it happens.

Secondly, are you looking for an ideal instead of the person? You may be setting yourself up to be hurt in order to find your 'perfect' match. You should look at people as just people.

Finally, you can start now by hanging with friends. Why not going out as a group with your boyfriend and then make some plans when he's got other plans?

It will not be easy, but the only thing you can do is make the best of the time you have now and also make plans for when he is away. Also, discussing your feelings will also be a big help.

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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