One day she was extremely late to our rendevous point and I thought something had happened to her.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Ok here goes. My ex and I broke up last July after I took her with me to College to get some classes for high school cleared up to have more electives. She wanted to join choir like I was in and I told her she could come along and take classes to free up a slot for her the next semester. All was going well until the day she met a guy at the bus stop for like a few seconds. All he asked was If she was getting on the bus and she wanted to get to know this guy. She told me about it and I didn't give it much thought. I trusted her. One day she was extremely late to our rendevous point and I thought something had happened to her. (A lot of guys were hitting on her recently) I went into the library and my life changed forever. There she was sitting on his lap and she saw me came to me and asked why I was there. He trailed along until he saw me and stopped. We left the library and she looked back at him and once outside she was mad at me for coming in and catching them. The next morning wanted to know if she could see him as well as me and I told her she was my girlfriend and then the hammer fell. She said her feelings for me had changed. However through the summer she liked me to come over still and cuddle and stuff. But once school started it changed. I didn't know where I stood with her and would ask her once in a while and then she got mad at me. But she told me not to give up hope on her and I don't know what to do. I joined the military because my grades dropped from the stress, and to get away. Where did I go wrong? was it my fault? And what should I do? Wait for her???

Sorry it's so long. I just had to ask someone.

Thanks Joe Advice
First off, it's not your fault. You don't own anyone and you can't control their behavior. She told you that "her feelings for me had changed." and this is probably true. She is seeing a whole new world outside of high school and is like a kid in a candy shop.

She said she also wants to date you and be with other guys. Basically, she wants to have her cake and eat it to.

In the end, she's got a lot to learn and think about and digest, and so do you. Joining the military may not have been the best idea given these troubled times, so it makes me wonder about your maturity level, too.

The only thing I can say is that you should stay where you are. If you can get out and go back to school, great, if not, be the best you can be... and forget about her. Things will only get more wild for her until she gets her fill or gets hurt and you being around and watching that will be too painful.

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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