I was her first boyfriend and she has nothing to compare me too
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and we have been very happy together. We grew up together in a way. I love her very much I am 23 and she is 22, I am graduating from college this semester. She is now getting her doctorate finishing up her first year this in my opinion has been the year we have been the closest despite the fact that we allowed each other time to see other people, neither of us really acted on it, it was her idea to do so in the first place (see other people). Her reason for this is that I was her first boyfriend and she has nothing to compare me too, no other experiences. She did not act on this idea till we came back from spring break which was the first time in 5 years I have ever gone on vacation with out her I was happy to see her but she had some sad news. She met someone from her class on her trip with friends and decided to take a break from me for a while. She said she still loved me but she needed to explore this bofore we could go further in our relationship. I was devastated I couldn't eat hardly for 2 weeks, I would wake up and vomit every day, from the loss. I tried despratly within the first few days of the breakup to make it work again but failed miserably and only made her cry. I have since refrained from calling her for three weeks now and every once in a while she will call or one time she visited me where I work out, she keeps trying to make little contacts to make sure I am still there I have played it cool each time not asking if we can even hang out,and getting off the phone as if I have something I need to do. I dare not call for one thing I fear reverting back to the way I felt 3 weeks ago. she has not called me in a week now and I am getting worried she won't. What should I do at this point? I don't think I should call, that would make me look weak. I want to appear as a strong person. Has me not calling made her think that I maybe doing other things, in turn making her think twice about leaving. What do I do now?
RomanceClass.com Advice
I don't think one phone call or email after all this time will make you look weak. Especially if it is something as simple as "I was just thinking about you and wanted to say hi."
In the meantime, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that it might be over. Start hanging out with new friends, etc. No use wasting away for something that might never be, especially since it seems like you can jump back into it anytime.
She does still care about you, otherwise she wouldn't call, however she needs to work things out. Don't give her reason to leave you alone, either.
Best wishes,
Marc -- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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