His girlfriend of 5 years died in a car accident almost 2 years ago. I have been dating him for 1 year.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am in love with my boyfriend. His girlfriend of 5 years died in a car accident almost 2 years ago. I have been dating him for 1 year. We talk about the future all of the time and how our life will have each other in it. I only have one problem that is hard to deal with. He still has a huge framed picture of her in the living room. I'm not talking about an 8x10, I mean an actual wall hanging size of her. In his room he has a certificate of hers framed and hanging on the wall as well as more pictures. He also talks to her mom everyday and sees her quite often and spends the night over there. They just went on a cruise together with a few people. For Thanksgiving and Christmas he went over there also along with coming to mine. I guess what I am trying to ask is is this something I should get upset over or is it normal for this kind of behavior to still go on. Am I overreacting? This is a 25 year old man.
I can relate to this because last year I went out on a couple of dates with a woman whose husband died in 9/11. He was on one of the plains.
The thing is that they didn't break-up. There was nothing wrong in their relationship and then they were just gone. There is no way to prepare for that.
I do agree that the pictures are a little too much now, but staying close to her mother (afterall, he was the closest thing she was going to have to a son-in-law and she did lose her daughter) is ok and she was almost his mother-in-law. I'm sure that they were a great comfort to eachother when she died and that they spent a lot of time together. That is a strong bond and you should be commeneded for even going with him when he visits.
I think you should ask him to kindly move the poster to a place where it can't easily be seen. He doesn't need to throw it out because her memory and loss are going to be a part of him until the day he dies, he just needs to learn how to cope and get on with his life. Afterall, I'm sure she would have wanted him to.
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com