My Love Dreams are Based on Disney Cartoons

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
your website is crap! its totally one-sided and i think you get more opinions on such thing as love at first sight? although i also dont believe in it, there are many who do...and i think if you're going to give love "advice" it should be from more than one side. another thing: stuff like jealousy doesnt show love? i personally believe that jealousy is a normal part of any healthy relationship so don't include that if u want to give "relationship adivce" and when you said that no one perfect? well im sorry but i believe that when you fall in love with someone you see them as perfect no matter what their faults are. think twice before giving advice thats completely one-sided. Advice
What is your definition of love if you believe in love at first sight? Isn't love about really knowing, understanding and relating to someone? There is NO way that you can really know and understand someone based on seeing them. It is physically impossible. The human mind is not capable of telepathy to know what is in another person's mind, to know their emotions and history.

To say otherwise is the worst form of disrespect you can give to a person. It is saying to that person, "you are so shallow that I don't even need to bother to talk to you to read your emotions." I have talked with thousands of people on my site and NO person has ever felt they were that shallow. Can you truly say that you are that shallow?

If you believe that jealousy is normal, then it might be time to get a book on jealousy and read it. There are many out there, explaining the dangers. You might also want to read the hundreds of people who wrote into this site and explained how their jealousy caused their boyfriend to desert them even though everything else was perfect. Would you really tell those people that it's OK that they were deserted, because their jealousy was "normal"? If you feel that it's OK to be jealous, it means you feel it's OK to mistrust your boyfriend and worry that, if he flirts with another girl, it means he is going to abandon you. If you can't trust your boyfriend, that's not a strong relationship. Jealousy is primarily about a lack of trust. If you trusted your boyfriend, why would you be jealous? Why DON'T you trust your boyfriend?

Finally, if you are blind to your partner's faults and believe he is perfect, that is called "putting your partner on a pedestal". I could write 100 pages on how many relationships were completely destroyed by people doing this, and you can go to any Blockbuster and rent 50 movies on the theme. Real love is about seeing your WHOLE partner - bad and good - and accepting all of it. If you have to blind yourself to the bad because you are emotionally incapable of dealing with it, that's not love.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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