The First Time

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend and I are not virgins but we have never had sex with each other besides oral sex. I am too scared to have sex with him because of his size. I am only 5'2" and he is 6'4" and his penis is at least 8" and is thick. What are some things we could do to help me relax and make it easier for me? Advice
I think you forgot something here - the female's body is sized so that an ENTIRE BABY will fit through that channel. I think it can handle something as relatively tiny as a guy's sex organ!! If anything is going to cause a problem, it is going to be your nervousness. You're going to be nervous, your muscles will all be clamped down tightly, and that's when you have problems.

So stop thinking of him as big. He's not big. Heck, he's a normal size, and there are tons of basketball players that are a foot taller than he is! And you're a normal size too. If you get pregnant, your babies will certainly be normal sized. And again, your babies will be much bigger than your boyfriend's member. So a lot of this is in your brain - and you need to train your brain to think of sex as normal. If you do, you'll relax. If you relax, things will work.

I have a lot of tips over at for how to get through the first time. But the key is to RELAX. This whole thing is supposed to be about enjoyment. It's not a chore, it's not a task. It's about two people bringing pleasure to each other. Focus on that pleasure.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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