My Husband and I Fight Constantly
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I dont't want to break up with my husband but we continuosly fight and now he wants to leave me.
What should I do to make him happy and love me like he used to?
You can never make someone happy, you can never make someone love you. But what you can do is be completely honest and communicative, and encourage your partner to do the same. If you guys are arguing, you aren't respecting each other. If you're raising your voices to get a point across, you aren't listening to each other very well. And the more it goes on, the worse it gets, until you automatically stop listening when a fight begins because you know what it's going to turn into.
It gets to the point where you feel like there's no way out - but there always ways to start afresh. I'd highly recommend going to a therapist and getting some assistance with this. There are all sorts of techniques to learn how to deal with anger, how to talk about issues, how to really deal with the issues. If you guys are fighting all the time, something is bothering you and you're never fixing it. So it stays there as an irritant. You need to find ways to fix or cope with those irritants. If you have a stone in your shoe, you make the effort to take it out or you put a band-aid on your foot to act as a buffer. If you just let it keep nagging at you, like water torture, it grows into a mountain that seems impossible to deal with.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com