A new love on a rocky road
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Was is love or lust?? I have been dating this guy for a couple of weeks, and yeah we have a lot of signs of lust, but I don't know I was able to trust him, and usally I am unable to trust anyone, let alone a couple of weeks. We were very very comfy with each other, and it felt like we knew each other most of our lives. I was not just physically attractted to him, I learned so much about him, and when we took a break or broke up, we both cried about it cause it doesn't feel right. We did it mostly due to timing, and the state of our lives, cause it wasn't going to work out right now.
His best friend says that he likes me, he's never been like he is with anyone but me, and that she will be shocked if we don't get back together within a month. I guess I don't know what to do, I really really like him for the person he is and that is why I am willing to let him sort out stuff, but what happens if we don't get back, were working on our frendship but I don't know what to do right now because we just did it, and for some reason, if we don't talk to each other to see how the others day went we, well we havn't done that yet. His friendship is important to me because that will only make us stronger if and when, I just don't know what to do now? please help.
New love definitely brings those feelings of 'this is perfect' and love and lust and all rolled in together. So it's normal and healthy that you feel that way, and it's really good that you're working on the friendship in all of that.
Sometimes people get worried when things are working well because they figure something "will" go wrong so they might as well end it before they do. It might be he's in that boat. Only he knows what's bothering him, and it's good that you guys have the friendship maintained, because it means you can ask him. Sit down with him and talk to him, and tell him how much you enjoy talking with him and being with him. Ask him what concerns him about being even closer - dating. Listen to his concerns, even if you don't think they're valid - they are his concerns after all. And then offer ways to address those concerns together. The more that you can focus on "we together can overcome this" the more likely that he'll work with you on finding a way to get through it.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com