My Best Friend Always Gets the Boys

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
i have a friend, she is really pretty and could have any boy she wanted. The problem i have, is that every boy i fancy, or go out with, they are all looking at her, and want her instead of me.

i know it sounds mean, but shes my best mate, and i feel im never going to get a trusting relationship with a boy because they are always after her.

what should i do? is it wrong to feel like this? Advice
As pretty as she is, she is she and you are you. There are guys out there that like ALL types of shapes and sizes. It may be hard to believe given what MTV pumps out into peoples brains 24 hours a day, but not all guys want a bimbo-body as their girlfriend!! I know many guys who actually really like the 'round/plump' shape in a girl because it seems snuggly and warm and comfy to them. I also know many guys who like the 'slim/skinny' shape because it reminds them of childhood crushes. I know guys who really like girls with long hair and hate girls with short hair. I know guys who love girls with short hair and think long hair looks too girly.

So while I admit that SOME guys might look at your girlfriend and think "She's the one I want!" it will not be ALL guys that think this. And as much as looks may be important at first glance, what really matters is the fun you have with someone. I know many guys who dumped the 'sexy' girls because they were royal pains in the butt and instead dated the 'friendly and fun' girls because it was just SO much nicer. A guy is a human being. He's not just a machine set on sexy-girl-detection. Guys want to be treated well, want to be respected, don't want to be cheated on. They want someone they can hang out with and have fun.

And actually, I know many guys who are NOT happy when they date really sexy girls - because now they are jealous 100% of the time and super paranoid. Now every time the girl is out of their site, they figure she must be cheating. They worry about every guy that looks at her. They often drive the sexy girls out of their lives with their constant jealousy.

So stop thinking of yourself as the "lesser choice" for all those guys. Find an area that you are good in - maybe become an expert flirter! Believe me, when you go to bars, it's not always the 'sexy' woman that is getting all the attention. A lot of times it's the 'normal' woman who is sassy, witty and laughing out loud. That's the kind of woman that many men would much rather date!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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