My Tongue is Tied

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
After my ex and I broke up, he went around saying I was a horrible kisser because I barely moved my toungue. There's a reason for this...
I'm literally tounge-tied. The tie that's at the back of everyone's toungue, is at the very front of mine. Therefore, I can't stick my toungue out to a full extent, and could barely reach inside his mouth.

Now, I'm too scared to ever French a guy again because I KNOW I can't be a good kisser. Is there a way you could get the tie removed? If so, how do I convince my mom to let me? I'm 15 and I know she wouldn't approve of my reasons. Thanks. Advice
You're probably not going to believe this but that is a VERY common problem and I in fact had my tongue 'snipped' when I was young because I couldn't speak my Ls clearly! Every human being has a different tongue. Some are fat, some are skinny, some are long, some are short. Some can stick out really far (think Gene Simmons) and some don't. That doesn't make any better than any other!

French Kissing is not the end all, be all of life. Lots of people I know hate French kissing. Others think it's OK but certainly not something to get all worked up over. If your ex made such a big deal about it it almost shows more that he is incredibly insecure, that he had to prove "Oh there was a reason I left, it's wasn't MEEEEEEEEE that had a problem, oh no". So chalk that up to him being a jerk rather than anything about your kissing.

As you go through dating and layers of intimacy, sure kissing is the first. So it's the one that you focus on the most. But as you get more intimate and get into more serious things, many people don't even kiss any more! They might kiss tenderly hello or goodbye, but when they are alone together they leap right past kissing into fondling. They've gotten bored with kissing as an activity at that point, in essence. They have better things to do.

So instead of worrying about French kissing, perfect other techniques. Nibble on the ears. Suck gently on the neck. Rain kisses starting at the forehead and slowly moving downwards along the face and over the chin. I know many couples who in essence NEVER kiss on the lips. You can even say that if your ex was so obsessed with French kissing as being the only important way to be intimate, that he was incredibly uncreative ;)

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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