He Wants My Approval for His CheatingVisitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
my question is do most men need to cheat to be happy? My boyfriend of 7+years alway tells me he can not be happy unless i let him mess around with other people. When i say "mess around" i mean not have sex. he tells me he dose not want to have sex w/ other people just feel their different bodys. He insists that i should know about each insident, so that he is "not lying to me." He tells me that he loves me, but he must fill his manly instinks to feel like he has had a good enough life. when i feel bad about him doing these things, he gets mad at me for trapping him. I dont want a relation ship were people are jelous, but i cant help but be angery w/ him.
I know about 3 times that he has had plans to try stuff w/ different girls, "just for sience",he says. He just wants to experiance life to the fullest. He tells me that if he couldn't do this stuff he would just feel like dying, and like his life is over.
The last time he tryed to mess around w/ another, he made me lie to her and tell her i was just his friend. I fell bad lying to others about our relationship, but i feel like i have to do what he wants.
He tells me that he would kill himself if i left him, and he loves more than anything in the world. He says he has no emotional attatchment to these girls, he only loves me. He has stuck by me when i felt like leaving him for someone else, but that happened when i was 16. He is now 27 and i'm 22.
I have never slept w/ anyone else and dont have much of a desire, but i want to do something so that he can feel what i feel. I love him alot and i dont know what to do. I dont know if i counld find anyone that would not want to cheat on me. I have faced the fact that men cheat, and I should be lucky he dosent have sex w/ them. but i have to change the way i feel for him to numb my pain.
Not all men cheat. In fact some studies show that most men have NEVER cheated, EVER. Many men would feel quite dishonored to cheat! Sure some men like to sleep around. But not all do. So it's a matter of people pairing up with compatible people.
I'm sure there are women out there who love to sleep around and who would be thrilled to be with a guy who likes to sleep around. He deserves one of those women. But if you are a woman who likes to respect and honor your partner with monogamy, you deserve to have a guy that does too. You can't change the guy you have. But he shouldn't force you to deal with his sleeping around either. It's time for you to find a guy who is more in line with your morals.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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