My Girl Ignores Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hi me and my girlfriend just recently broke up. her parents kind of made us split. we decided to try the best friend thing since we were together for soo long before we broke up.
The thing is, she never pays any attention to me. When its just me and her, she does, but as soon as one of my friends shows up, shes forgets im even there. what should i do?
Aren't parents annoying? I wonder why they made you split if you were together for so long. Maybe they saw that the relationship was interfering with her schoolwork or something? It's a shame they didn't sit down with you, talk about the problem and then find a way to fix it. To just say "go away" doesn't seem like a good way to solve a problem.
But that's not the question here. It's good you guys decided to remain friends since that is the key to any relationship - and since parents can't tell their kids what to do forever. This was a chance for your girlfriend to prove that she really was a great match for you without needing any "title" to back it up.
But unfortunately, what did she do? Now she's not treating you very nicely! A best friend OR a boyfriend should always be treated with respect. She's not doing that at all. She's ignoring you just because other people are there? How would she like it if you ignored her when her friends came over? I imagine she'd be pretty furious. So apparently she's not very good at this whole treating-people-well thing.
I would sit down with her and have a talk. Best friends are supposed to care about how they make each other feel and want each other to be happy. She is actively making you unhappy. Don't yell at her, just try to explain that it makes you feel sad. If she's the girl for you, she'll apologize and try to find ways to make you feel better. If she's NOT the girl for you, she'll tell you to deal with it because she's going to do what she wants to do even if it hurts you.
If she goes for the pain route it might be time to draw back. Everybody matures at their own rate and if that's the way she feels, she's just not really ready for a serious relationship. Maybe that's what her parents felt, too ...
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com