I'm Jealous over my wife's past
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have just caused a huge row in our family - my wife and I both have sexual history ...and most of the time it doesn't really bother me. However, tonight we were watching TV, and a nightclub came on - my wife then revealed that she had performed oral sex on someone in that night club. I'm ashamed to say I hit the roof!
I just felt that that it wasn't the time or the place for this. Actually, that's not true - I felt very hurt. We have had conversations like this in the past, but always "in context". I have to admit that I feel jealous ...but once I admit it, what good does that do?
Am I wrong to feel like this?
If anybody else was there, I agree completely. But if it was just you two, then it really shouldn't have mattered that she said it while watching TV vs doing something else. It sounds like you would've been jealous either way.
I suppose the alternative would have been for her to have seen the club, had the memory and then hid it from you because she thought something about her past would have hurt you. That doesn't really sound like a good solution either.
I suppose there's always a balance. If you two went out to a romantic dinner and she ordered a Steak Florentine and you said "Oh that was the favorite dish of my ex, Jessica!" she would probably have a right to be annoyed.
It probably was just a strange memory that popped into her mind that she figured she'd share with you. It's like if you had a brawl in a bar, and saw the bar come on TV, you'd go "cool! That's the bar I brawled in!" It's always fun to see places you know show up on TV.
Unless she does this regularly to torment you, I really wouldn't put much energy into it. Yes, we all have pasts. And yes the pasts involve strange acts. If you wish YOU two had that sort of exotic sex life, maybe it's time to try out some new things ...
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com