We Argue All the Time
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
my partner and i have recently started to take a break (broken up) because we argue alot and it has been hard to deal with. she says that she has lost the love she used to have for me and doesnt know if she can get it back.
we want to stop argueing cause when we are not its the best feeling in the world.
is there anyway to revitalize our love and get that love we used to have for each other. please help us
Arguing can certainly destroy love in a relationship, because arguing is a sign of a loss of respect. If two people who respect each other and have an issue, they discuss it and find a solution (or at least agree to disagree). If two people who do NOT respect each other have an issue, they yell and try to bully the other into submitting to their point of view. Yelling is never right. It means that you feel you can 'force' your partner to agree with you.
I have a lot of advice on the site about ways to deal with arguments. But the basic thing is to agree to not fight. You are both mature enough to date, so you are both able to keep your mouth from opening :) If you get angry, close your mouth and wait until later. Self control is CRITICAL in so many ways in any relationship. It's a very valuable skill to learn.
I think if you two show each other that you can handle issues without yelling, that you'll find how easy the relationship can be. But you have to put in the time and effort to hold your tongue when you feel angry.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com