He's Nice in Private, Callous in Public
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have a male friend who says that he cares for me, but, then acts different around his friends. When he and I are alone, he is sweet and kind, but, when he is with his buddies, he acts like he doesn't care! What's going on?
I hate to say this, but the guy sounds selfish. He looks out for his own needs and his own gain. When he's alone with you, he wants cuddling and affection. So he gives you somes niceness to get the affection in return. But when he's out, he can't be bothered wasting his time on you because he doesn't need that cuddling at the moment. So instead he spends his time laughing with his friends and ignoring you. That's just not right.
If this guy really likes you, then he would be PROUD to hold you by his side and tell his friends about you! Sure, he can still go out with his friends - all of us humans have friends that we enjoy spending time with. But to IGNORE you while he does so is just rude. If he values his macho image with his friends over your feelings, that's selfish.
I'd have a chat with him about it, saying that he is disrespecting you by treating you so off-handedly in public. If he says he doesn't care that it bothers you, then you have it in black and white where his priorities are - and they don't involve your feelings. If that's the case, it's time to move on to a man who's more mature about relationships!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com