My girlfriend's left me for another - I want her back

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I recently found out that my girlfriend broke up with me and started seeing her good friend and not to mention co-worker. She immediately started staying over his house non-stop, and sleeping with him. It really makes me sick to my stomach. She says she didn't want to hurt me, and she didn't want to lie to me about it, but i still want her back even though she's sleeping with another guy. She says that she doesn't know what she wanted and it just happened between them. She said she didn't plan for it to happen.

My first question is will this relationship with my ex and her friend/coworker last or will it keep getting deeper? And second, if it doesn't work, do you think that she is more likely to run back to him for sex or whatever if we got back together when this has already happened? Please help me. Advice
There's no way to know if your girlfriend will last with this new guy of hers. My guess would be no, because if she was able to leap out of her relationship with you to a new guy, she's just as likely to leap out of this relationship for yet someone else. Normally you either work on a relationship or you agree it's not working and end it. You don't use one person as a crutch, find someone else, and them cheat for a while to figure out if it's a good thing to leave.

If her mentality is that it's OK to look for something else while in a relationship, that commitment means little and that there's always something better around the corner, then she's going to just keep moving from relationship to relationship. There is ALWAYS something better if you have that mentality, because no relationship is perfect.

And yes, if you somehow got back together with her, it's very likely she'd go cheating with someone else any time she felt bored or frustrated, because she thinks that's OK.

I would really look for someone more deserving of your love - someone that will pay as much attention to you as you are paying to this woman. There are thousands of women out there that dream about a loyal, caring boyfriend and who would never dream of cheating. If you start getting out and doing things, I have no doubt you'll run into a few.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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