Sometimes She Acts Childish

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been dating my girlfriend for about six months already. She's 21 and I am 29, so it seems like there's a gap in ages, although I try to keep the relationship in harmony. She's very young but aged at the same time, especially with things like being organised, using formal language, manners, etc.

The thing is that she does not communicate enough with me with respect to things she does in her everyday life, what she wants, and what she expect from me. I, on the other hand, try to keep her up-to-date with everything I do, plan and think which is the same thing I expect from her. I do probably think about this kind of things because of my age, and probably she's too young to think about it. Instead, she's always asking questions like: "you think I gained weight?", "you still like me?". Sometimes I do not know what to answer.

So, what should I do? I do like her a lot, but I think it's hard sometimes to deal with her. Please help me!!! Advice
Well yes, sometimes she acts a bit childish because she is after all quite younger than you are! If you were 18 and dating a 13 year old, you could hardly be upset at her for wanting to play with dolls and on swings. That's the age she's in. You are trying to rush her along to be at your maturity level because it suits you. But that's entirely unfair to her - and just because she can "perform nicely" for you in manners sorts of ways, that doesn't change what she IS. And what she IS is a young woman who is still getting her feet underneath her about what she wants out of life and how she wants to be.

She asks these questions because she's insecure. You can't make someone secure. You can't make them mature. So either you are patient and understanding, and realize that she will ALWAYS be "behind" where you are and want to be because of that age gap, and accept that, or you're always going to have this issue. In 10 years when you want to be home watching TV every night, she'll be wanting to go out dancing, again because it'll be the stages in life you are at. Some people can accept and deal with these gaps. But others find it MUCH better to find someone in their same frame of mind so they can do things they want to together and be happy together.

It's up to you to decide if you really can accept her in all her moods - or if they will grate on you.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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