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I Cheated - He Left

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok..this is a really long story. I met this guy from joining a track team of another town since our town is too tiny to have one of its own. He was really great and we spent most of last summer together. When this track season started, we started going over the idea of getting together. I started to think he didn't want me.

One night, I went out with some friends and got drunk. I ended up sleeping with some guy. The news spread really quickly and finally got to the guy that I like. Now he says there is no chance between us because he thinks that I have no respect for myself. I really do respect myself but I am human and humans make mistakes. I didn't know it would eventually hurt him. I really don't want to lose him. Being in his arms is the greatest feeling in the world. Any advice? There has to be something I can do!!

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's one thing to make a casual mistake but another to sleep with a random guy you don't know. You could catch AIDS and die, that's not something to take casually at all. A lot of people that that very seriously and apparently this guy falls into that category.

It doesn't really sound like you regret getting so drunk you slept with this guy - it sounds like you only regret upseting this boy - and that you didn't even know him well enough to realize he would care about something like that.

You might want to consider the thought that you two really weren't meant for each other. He prizes control and self respect. You don't mind getting drunk and having casual sex. Neither of those are "bad" - but they are quite different points of view. It's like someone who loves cats dating someone who hates cats with a passion. They simply would do better with someone who is more of their own mindset.

-- from Lisa
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