A Drifting Long Distance Relationship
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and i have been together for about 1 year and 5 months. Most of the time, he is away from me and i will call this a long distance relationship because he and I lives in different countries.He does come to visit me once in a while but i do not get to see him often. When he is there, he seems too busy to talk to me, or either he is out somewhere with his cousins or friends.I love him a lot and i miss him terrible. Lately, he is not talking to me. this happens often but this time i feel terribly worried because the last conversation he said he is very stress. What can i do? I do not want to lose him.
Long distance relationships are by their very nature hard to maintain. You don't have all of the normal day to day interaction and couple-building activities that normal relationships have. It takes a serious effort on both parts to keep it going well. It's certainly possible, but it does require work.
I have lots of tips on line for maintaining a long distance relationship -
it could just be the holidays coming up that are getting to him. This is in general a stressful time of year. It's also a time of year that reminds us how important family and friends are and can stress a long distance relationship because it points out that your partner isn't there to share in all of these important things.
So be there "virtually". Send him letters, send him photos of you doing things. Tell him all about the things you do, and ask him all about the things he is doing. Try to stay a part of his world as much as possible. But also talk to him honestly about how he's feeling so you can address any issues he has. If he's starting to drift, you need to find out why and commit to addressing it together. If you just avoid it, he'll keep drifting and perhaps drift off. So the time to figure out a solution is now.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com