He Doesn't Want Me to Flirt

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a little over a month and have been hanging out with each other for a little over half a year, but while we were hanging out, or feelings for each other were always off and on. During this past month, I have had strong feelings for him, feelings I have never felt before with anyone. He makes me feel special, happy, and safe. The words "forever" and "marriage" have even entered the picture. I don't want to be with anyone else. I know i'll never find anyone as perfect as him. He is my soulmate.

However, a few days ago we had a fight. We work together and he tells me he sees me interacting with other guys, who happen to be quite young (15-16)(i'm 20), and percieves it to be that i'm flirting with him. He says that it would seem to be a far-off opinion if he was the only one to think that way, but he tells me, others feel that I'm flirting too. I understand where he is coming from and do feel sometimes I'm egging these boys on. I do have a cute personality and love to get along with everyone. Before I was dating him, I was often times flattered by the attention I would get from these guys, although I never thought, and will never think about going further with any of these guys. My boyfriend, like i said before, is the only one i ever want to be with. I want to spend my life with him.

I told him I would change, because I don't like the person I've become and I don't want to hurt him anymore. However, I just simply don't know how to not flirt. I don't know where the fine line is between being cute and being flirty and I don't know where he feels the fine line is. Please Help Me!!! I don't want to lose him. He means the world to me.

RomanceClass.com Advice
First off, if you feel he's perfect then you're not seeing the relationship through honest eyes. No relationship is perfect. All relationships require give and take. If you're not honest about your relationship, then any attempt to "fix" it is going to fail.

This guy is *jealous*. He can't expect you to avoid all friendly with the opposite sex! What happens when you go to parties? You're not allowed to talk to or flirt with any males? That's incredibly unreasonable. If he is so insecure about the relationship that he feels any wandering guy will steal you away, then that's his issue to fix, not yours.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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