I Went Back to my Ex - It was a Mistake
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have a question. I am divorced and have been in the dating world for 2 years now. I had committed to no one up until last August when I met my boyfriend (or as of right now, ex-boyfriend). We were dating happily, and the guy that I dated before him came back into the picture after about 4 months talking love and marriage. It was all a lot for me because I cared about the guy from before my boyfriend who I had never been "exclusive" with. He comes back and says that he wants to be exclusive and that he's in love with me and wants to marry me. So, I get confused between the two of them.
After a struggle, I break up with my boyfriend to make sure that I am not supposed to be with the other one. That turns out to be a horrible mistake, and I have since realized that I am actually in love with my ex-boyfriend. I called him to tell him and he is very receptive to me. And he wants to try again and just take things slow. My heart is breaking because I've never had to "casually" date someone I'm in love with and it hurts. My ex-husband cheated on me after 4 months of marriage, and that probably made it more difficult for me to commit.
My ex-boyfriend says that he still loves me and never stopped, he's just scared of me which I can totally understand. I am now ready to make a commitment and give my heart to him 100%. My question is this: Can this happen? Or will he resent me for hurting him? He says he's fine and he understands and appreciates that I was honest with him about the situation from the beginning (which I was). We had only been dating 4 months when I made the choice to see the other one, but I told him everything. So, is this salvageable? I truly love him. And I don't want to be without him again, ever.
People recover and get over FAR worse situations than this. It all depends on your level of commitment. If he really says he's willing to try again - and if you want to too - then this can work.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com