He Cheated and is Now Lying
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Recently my boyfriend and I went overseas. He went to a town for 5 days leaving me in another town so that he could go and see an old friend (a girl) and her boyfriend. During that period he did not call or sms me only when I called or sms'd him.
When he got back I opened the door and he didn't even give me a kiss or a hug or a hello, great to see you. All he did was go straight to the bed, flop face down and start crying. He told me that he just wanted to leave and go back to where we are from. I asked him what happened and he just told me that he had done some thinking and just wanted to go home.
Later that evening, I started talking about getting married and if that was something he wanted to do soon. He told me no, that he didn't ever want to get married. When I asked him what had changed (since only a month prior he happily told me that he wanted to get married to me). He told me nothing and that he had decided that once we got back home, we should take a break from our relationship. I wasn't able to get anything else out of him but that night when I went to kiss him and start fooling around, he told me that he didn't want to in case I got pregnant (this from a man who wants sex 24/7). I just couldn't figure it out!
We got back home and I checked an email address that we both used while we were overseas. It had 5 emails from a girl who he apparently met whilst in that town. They are basically all the same. She wants to see him again, touch him, feel him, look at him. Always at the end she says she loves him and is looking forward to seeing him soon. I also just found out that at the end of this year, he wants to go backpacking, something he didn't want to do while we were actually there!
I don't know that to do. How do I tell him that I know about these emails. I had told him that I was not going to use it and he could use it as his private email. I know he will think that I was snooping.
We have been together for 2 and a half years and up until he went away by himself, we were extremely happy. Do you think that I should be concerned? I did ask him if something happened whilst he was in that town but he just got really, really defensive. Does it sound like he has already slept with her or kissed or anything else with her. I just don't understand because he was only there for 5 days!! I don't know what to say to him or how to act with him. I just love him so much!! I really don't want to believe that he could hurt me! What on earth do I do??
I really believe this guy cheated on you and if nothing else he is quite obviously lying to you. That is just wrong. If he was slimy enough to do something to damage your relationship he should at least have the maturity to take responsibility for his actions.
Tell him you know that he got involved with a girl. You don't have to tell him how. Tell him you deserve the truth. If he is incapable, under direct questioning, to be honest, then you really have to leave him. There are men you can love but cannot live with because you cannot trust them. He appears to be one of them.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com