In Love with my Teacher

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
The man I'm attracted to is five years older than me. Originally he was my music teacher when I was still at highschool and he had started at uni. These days (7 years later) we are just good friends.

I am attracted to him and these feeling have been growing since I met him. The problem is trying to figure out his feelings without telling him how I feel. I once kissed him at a party and took him by surprise so I don't wanted to be too upfront. He'll often suggest we go and have coffee or whatever but he never calls me. I try not to take this personally since a mutual friend has told me he's the king of procrastination!

He often compliments me on my clothes and whatnot and there's definitely a lot of mutual flirting. I sometimes feel like he's waiting for something, me to mature or finish my education or something. I wonder if he can ever think of me as his equal since he started out as my teacher. I guess I'm trying to figure out if there are any real feelings there or if he is just being a flirt. Perhaps you can help . . . Advice
He is obviously wanting to spend time with you. So arrange it! Tell him you are planning to go get coffee at X and does he want to come along. Talk with him and find out his interests. Figure out what movie is coming out that he'd enjoy. Then mention you've always wanted to see it but hate seeing movies along, and ask if he'd go. There are trillions of ways to spend time with someone as a "friend" in order to let the relationship move along slowly but steadily.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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