We're Engaged - The Spark is Gone
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been with the same man for 3 years now. Approximately 8 months ago he asked me to marry him and we have been planning our wedding ever since. We purchased our wedding bands just a month ago and I purchased my gown about the same time. Our wedding is to take place in 8 more months.
Just yesterday he dropped a bomb on me! He said that he doesnt feel we have the "spark" to make our relationship last a lifetime. He said he has been having "friendship" feelings for me lately as opposed to stronger feelings such as me someday being his wife. He advised me not to feel this is the end of the world as he wants to try to work on it. I also do but I feel very betrayed since I had no idea!
He is not a very affectionate person which makes me not being affectionate for fear of rejection. Can someone please give us advice to keep this relationship together? I love him deeply and want us to be together.
The whole point of a marriage is that people are best friends! The hot hormones don't last forever. Maybe he is finally getting into a mature relationship with you and doesn't even understand it. Try getting a couples therapist so he can hear this from a 3rd party and really believe it and understand it.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com