We Argued - Then We Broke Up
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex boyfriend and I dated for six months. At first, he would leave me a lot to go with his friends, then about 2 months into the realtionship, he quit hanging out and all that and was always with me. He really acted like he loved me, but sometimes I would act bitchy or start a fight because I was stressed out or under great pressure about things.
I know if we were back together, it could work, but I don't think he realizes that. He was not perfect, but I wasn't either. I don't know if he really may call me wanting to get back together or if he doesn't know anymore. He confuses me from one day to the next. People even say I can do better, but I really care about. I love him. If he would just try again. I don't know what to do.
Please give me advice. It's so hard to try not to find him or call him because I don't know if he is really through for good this time or if he will be wanting to get back. THe other day I had seen him, and sometimes he says we just argued too much. THen the other day he said that I just don't understand when he wants to be with his friends. But he says the meanest things that confuse me, and I don't think he means all the mean stuff, but I don't know.
We have been broke up almost 2 weeks. We still spent a little time together, but we'd argue or I would be fine one minute then all the sudden He would hurt my feelings or say something rude. I am tired of him confusing me. I really want to be with him, and I know he does too somewhere, but maybe he just thinks we'll fight too much or he can't do anything. How do I get it across to him that I know it can work if we try. He won't even talk about it right now. It's not that I couldn't get other guys, I just don't want to. I know it can work and we seem so good together. I would hate to see a great relationship go to waste over us being hard headed. What should I do? Please give me some advice!
It's very important to be honest and admit it was NOT a great relationship. A great relationship is full of trust and best friendship - NOT a lot of arguing. There are always excuses for why you argue, but it is a sign of an underlying problem. You can't just say "we won't argue next time" because you haven't even figured out what the underlying problem was.
Ask him to sit down and talk about things, so that you can move on with your life. He's more likely to talk if he doesn't think it's a plot for you to grab him back. Really honestly discuss the relationship. Let him talk about what bothered him. Talk honestly about what bothered you. If you don't start with that base level - and trust yourselves to be honest with each other - then there isn't any way to rebuild and go forward.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com