My Ex is Acting Jealous
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was in a long distance relationship. We ended it over a year ago because it was too difficult to maintain (his idea). We remained friends. That was going really well, we were/are very close but lately he has been acting really strange. Around the same time we broke up he ended his friendship with a guy he had been best friends with (really long story). Anyway, his ex-bestfriend and i have recently started to spend more time together and it's been wonderful. My ex-boyfriend says he thought it was 'weird but kind of expected it' but glad we are both happy. My ex and I have only been in touch through the phone and email, but he is starting to get flirty with me. He started calling me the old nicknames he called me when we were dating. He called and left me a message on my cell and it was really soft, and just...flirtatious. Then he invited me out to come visit. I guess it could be my imagination but i just have a vibe.
We have a lot of mutual friends. Last week I sent all of my friends a stupid forward email. One of those surveys that you fill out like what's your favorite color, movie, etc. I thought it would be fun for some of us who are bored at work or school so i filled it out and sent it. The ex-boyfriend replied with the survey filled out and it was a blatant attack on me. Every answer was bashing me, and the relationship we used to have he made light of. When we ended our relationship last year i was truly broken hearted so why he would make fun of it, I couldn't understand. It came out of no where I don't even know why he felt the need to attack me in the first place. I asked him why he did it and he said I was too sensitive and couldn't take a joke. I am over him, but I certainly don't think making fun of something that caused a lot of pain is a kind thing to do, not very friendly. I don't know maybe i am too sensitive.
But, could he just be reacting to my new relationship with jealousy? Or am I reading too much into things? I am wondering if it's a good idea for us to continue a close friendship. Am I jumping the gun?
It's one thing to joke, but it's another to send a message out to everyone with nasty jabs about a relationship. He obviously is feeling hostile for *some* reason if he did that.
I would put some distance between you and your ex. If he's not feeling stable right now, maybe some time would help him to regain some composure. If you're not interested in him, then it's best not to lead him on.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com