He Is Too Analytical - Should We Get Back Together?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My exboyfriend and I have been broken up for over a year. We dated 6 months, and were very much in love. I thought I would marry him for sure. He always had a hard time with letting go of his emotions though. He is VERY analytical, and thinks about things way too much.
That is why we broke up...he just couldn't "allow" himself to be in love. I think he also has a problem with committment. Now, we just recently talked about the possibility of getting back together. We both still care about eachother. I want to be with him so badly, but I want his whole heart, not just the little piece that he has to offer. My question is: Should I be patient, and hope that his walls will come down, or am I setting myself up for heartbreak again?
Thank you for your thoughts.
It sounds like you guys really need to learn to talk - and to do that now, if you want anything to work. People don't break up because they won't allow themselves to be in love! Something must have been wrong in order for him to break up. If he was happy - even if he wasn't in love - why would he break up?
You say he thinks about things too much. You want him to think less? You want him to change to suit your needs? None of these seem to be healthy things in any relationship.
Take him out to dinner and really discuss what was bothering BOTH of you in the relationship. The only way to even hope to fix things is to be very honest about the past. If he is incapable of discussing his issues, then there's no way it can work going forward. If you're incapable of accepting him the way he is, it won't work either.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com