We Argued - He Left. I Want him Back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
we are 1 year and 8 mos. we sometimes fight of little things and he gets tired of it. i gave him space because he wants it. now, he asked me what will i do if he decided we will just be friends. my heart breaked and my hopes in my expectations just sank after hearing what he said. it will be hard for me to be his friend after all the memories, that's why i said that i don't want to be his friend anymore if we will be apart 'coz it will be hard for me to accept that we're through.
i love him more than my self. i don't want to let him go... what should i do???
It's easy to focus on the good and ignore the bad in a relationship. If things were so bad here that instead of trying to work them out, he backed away and took a break, then that's really not a good sign. Relationships are about two people working together to solve issues - they are not about people running away to think about things on their own.
If you don't want to let him go, then don't abandon him as a friend. The core and foundation of ANY relationship is a great friendship. It sounds like you might not have had that before, if you were fighting about things and not able to work it out. So build the friendship. Show him you are capable of discussing issues, even hard things. Show him you have learned and matured.
Remember, there are far harder things in life to discuss than the little things you were fighting about here. The little things are only *training situations* for the truly hard things in life. If you couldn't even deal with the little issues, you had no chance of handling the truly hard issues life throws at you. Your boyfriend knew that. So start from the beginning, and show him you can have the hard discussions, that you can deal with the hard issues, without yelling or screaming or running away. Only when you two are such good friends that you can deal with issues together, as a team, will things work.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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