My Ex is Using Me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex broke up with me almost five months ago. He wanted to date other people because I am the only one he has been with. We also fought a lot. Well it was really rough for me for a while and now I am doing better. We have both dated other people. We are good friends now. He calls almost everyday. He is taking me to my cousin's wedding soon also.
Well yesterday I got upset when he was with another girl and I told him that I couldnt be his friend anymore. He got really mad and said that I need to push aside my feelings and be friends with him. He said he doesnt know what he wants right now. I am feeling used. How do I act around him when we go to the wedding.
And also, we will be sharing a hotel room. Any suggestions?
This definitely sounds like your ex is using you. First he abandons you because he wants to sow his wild oats, but it is your duty to be there as his safety net and to make him feel loved just in case one of the girlfriends doesn't work out well. He calls you all the time because you're willing to be there for him, while he romps around dating other girls. And he has the gall to be upset that this bothers you??
And on top of it all he is going to share a room with you at the wedding, with you having these emotions?
A true friend NEVER says "push aside your feelings and force yourself to be friends with me". What kind of a friendship is that? A friendship is all ABOUT feelings and being true to them! This guy is definitely using you for his OWN self worth feelings. If HE was a true friend he would stop treating you like this and would actually care about what YOUR feelings were.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com