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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



Things were Great - then He Faded Away



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm a college senior who met someone at a newspaper conference. We got along well and exchanged numbers because we live in totally different parts of the country. For the next two months he called me almost every night and chatted frequently via Yahoo messenger. We got along famously and talked about getting married and having a future together. We even talked about both of us moving to the same place after graduation to be together. I thought it was serious and I was in love.

I went to visit him for a week over New Years and things went pretty well. Since returning back to college, I haven't heard from him very much. I've had to call him to talk and he never seems to be online anymore. I chalked it up to him being busy. Then I sent him a Valentine's Day gift. I made a homemade card with a silly poem and sent a CD of my favorite songs to remind him of me. I thought I was just being romantic and sweet by sending him this, but now I'm afraid that I scared him off.

I've e-mailed him a few times and he hasn't responded back, though I get e-mail confirmations. I don't know whether to keep in contact with him or wait for him to contact me. Should I contact him or give him space? Should I confront him or wait and see how things play out?




RomanceClass.com Advice
It is REALLY hard maintaining a long distance relationship, and the danger is always that you could meet someone locally that is much easier to grow close to. It's very likely that he did meet someone local and just felt too embarassed to tell you. This of course is immature of him, but there you go. I would call him and just ask him if he's seeing someone. Tell him that you'd rather know and move on vs be wondering what is going on.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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