She Used to be Flirty - Now She's Clingy
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I just need some advice. Me and my girlfriend started dating in august and all the way up to april when she broke up with me cuz she believed a lie about me messing with this girl. At the time she was talking to someone, I kept in contact with her while we were seperated and I was very concerned, about a week later she asked me back out and I turned her down. 2 days after that she was dating the other guy. They didn't even see each other, only went to the movies 3 times and met up at the carnival that was in town and i was there. She would always lure me away to her room when I was at her house chilling with her brother (been my best friend way before me and her started dating) when we got to her room she would always try and mess around, I'd always go along with it.
She finally broke up with him. I had over heard a conversation between her and him online, he said, "Im tired of U always acting like I have AIDs or something, U won't even touch me. All I've got from u is a quick peck on the lips and I already know U have been ******* him (meaning me)" We got back together in June right before she moved from here. While she was there she called EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR 4 months and we visited each other at least 5 times in that time. She came back on Christmas because she missed me so much, At this Point I REALLY REALLY DO BELIEVE SHE LOVES ME AND SHE WILL DO DAMN NEAR ANYTHING I ASK HER EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES SHE DOESNT LIKE IT....but anyway before she left she always called me a bug-a-boo cuz i came over all the time and she always said she needed space, but every since she came back, the table have turned (she's the one always over my house now) She has changed alot emotionally she won't even speak to male friends while we're together now (she used to always hug her friends both male and female)
I became very independent while she was away and have made alot of female friends (haven't cheated, BUT came very close once) I would never hurt her in any way, not purposefully. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND DONT WANT TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES. I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS GIRL AND WOULD EVEN MARRY HER. And Why do I feel like such a Dick sometimes. like I'm mean to her, she has changed dramatically and even cries when I joke with her now, like one time I said she was a badgirl friend JOKING VERY OBVIOUSLY and SHE BURST INTO TEARS. Before she left she never ever cried
WHATS GOING ON. I JUST NEED PLAIN OL' ADVICE ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP Should I just let it take its course or what.
People change over time. That's a truism that you really need to learn and accept. You can't ever expect someone to be the exact same for years and years. If you wanted that, you would get a robot. Human beings grow and change and learn and mature.
Also, when people are casual, they don't care much about what is going on and therefore don't really react. When people are serious they DO care and therefore their reactions to the relationship are much more intense. That's a natural and good thing.
Why are you mean to her?? That's probably the first question. It's one thing to joke very casually, but to be mean to a girlfriend is just wrong. She actually cares about how you feel now. Again that's a good thing. If you enjoy being mean to her, then something is quite wrong.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com