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The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.-- Victor Hugo

We're Perfect For Each Other - We Both Cheat

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I never thought the perfect guy for me existed, until I actually found him. We were so perfect for eachother that things progressed very quickly. Within the first months we were already discussing marriage. The only problem is that he lived across the country, and he wasn't moving out here for another six months.

We decided to keep a serious relationship going for the six months that he was away, however he cheated on me once, and I cheated on him three times. After the first time, we both forgave eachother. However, after I did it another two times, he said he could never trust me again, he would never allow himself to love anyone ever again, and we could never be anything more than just friends. I have been killing myself over this breakup because I really do love him, and I can't explain to him why I cheated on him, because I don't know why I did either. He is moving back here in two months, and I don't want to lose him. I love him, and I need him back, please help!!

RomanceClass.com Advice
On one hand you say it was the perfect relationship - but obviously it wasn't if you guys were cheating left and right and lying. That is about as clear an indication that you guys weren't respecting each other and ready for monogamous situations. If you can't even last a few months, how could you last an entire lifetime? Fifty years is an incredibly long period of time, and people don't spontaneously change when they get married. People who think that happens are in for a big shock when they do marry.

It really sounds like you two went into this WAY too quickly before you were ready. When he gets into town, start as FRIENDS. Build the trust and build the relationship. Move slowly and see how it goes.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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