My Ex is Sending Mixed Signals

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
my ex bf and i are both 20. we have been together since we were 16. we were eachothers first love first everything. well he went away to college about 1 hr and 1/2 away and we kinda grew apart after the 3rd yr. i wanted to explore other guys so i saw one for a month. we have been seperated 10 months and i miss him like crazy. we have started talkin on a regular basis again and still tells me he loves me, bought me xmas present and vday but he has another gf of a month and says its hard to get over when i left him and he needs time to concentrate on school. what is theses signals hes sending me by keeping me attached? i cant let go... Advice
It does sound like he is enjoying his girlfriend and also keeping you around as backup in case the girlfriend doesn't work out. Of course if the girlfriend does work out he'll marry her and leave you behind. This really isn't fair to you at all.

Tell him you are very happy that he's got a girlfriend and that it's inappropriate for him to string you along like this - and it's also pretty much cheating on his girlfriend. Ask him if this girlfriend knows about all the presents and so on. Ask him if the girlfriend knows that he's talking about a future with you. That's really unfair to his girlfriend, that she's being used like this.

I would put some space between you two for a while, to have him decide what he's going to do and to let yourself get some bearing on this as well.

-- from Lisa
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