He Asked Me Out, I Hesitated, Now What?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
A couple of weeks ago, when school started I met this guy in class and he asked me out afterwards. I told him we should wait because I had just been asked out by his friend days before. He would walk me to class and just hang out with me all the time. Well, the thing is that he then got suspended, I thought about it A LOT and I decided I did want to go out with him. I sent him a letter (he did receive it) and it read "...If you haven't had second thoughts about it, then when you come back you'll have a girlfriend waiting here for you..." When he was back, the next three days he acted really sweet and would walk me to class but only kiss me in the cheek. Then the 4th day he just kind of tried to avoid me and stuff and I felt really uncom fortable so I asked him, "Okay, we never hang out during lunch or anywhere so are we going out or what?" and he said he was confused because he felt attracted to many other girls even though he did like me a lot. Then he gave me another bunch of excuses and stuff and gave me a kiss on the lips for the first time ever. After class I saw him walking another girl to class and he saw that I saw him. So I was hurt and decided not to talk to him. Now he tries to talk to me and he asks me why I wont speak to him. He also told my cousin that I never gave him a "yes" (that I did want to go out with him) that he doesn't know why I'm mad or what's going on. I feel really bad for not speaking to him because I like him a lot but at the same time it's his fault, what should I do?
These are the sorts of silly games that cause great relationships to fall apart. If you like him, why are you playing these games with him! You guys never actually TALKED like normal human beings about going out. All you did was pass notes. That's hardly a monogamous commitment! Also, lots of people like to date multiple people because dating is fun. That's not a strange thing at all. If you actually wanted a MONOGAMOUS serious dating situation that would be something you should have talked to him about, not just assumed.
So go talk to him. If you actually want to date this guy you need to be mature enough to be able to talk to him face to face! Tell him you like him and want to date him exclusively. If he doesn't want to, then you need to decide if you can handle a non-exclusive dating situation, or if you would rather wait to date a guy who will date only you.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com