He Won't Agree to Marry
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i have been dating this wonderful man for 2 1/2 years and the relationship is great! The problem is when i bring up marriage he avoids the subject like the plague. he says that we will get married but never really says when.
i have told him on several occasions that i'm not going to date him for the rest of our lives.
when i ask him if he doesn't have any marriage plans for us then to set me free so that i can find that someone who is looking for the samething i am.
my boyfriend gets all teary eyed and tells me he can't imagine life without me.
should i set a timeline and if he hasn't proposed by that time should i tell him that i'm moving on?
The real question here is why you need to get married so quickly. A ton of people don't marry until they're in their 30s. This guy is obviously committed to you. Is it because you live alone and don't like to be alone? Then why not move in together? That would seem to be the logical next step, that fits your needs and also doesn't rush him.
If you have to pressure someone into something, it's very wrong. What if you were a virgin and he kept forcing you to have sex with him? That would be called rape. This is no different. If he's not ready for a stage, then you shouldn't pressure him. Find out in your mind exactly what it "is" about marriage you want. Believe me, just having a ring on your finger doesn't "change anything". You can wear a ring now if you really want one. It must be something else that you really want. Unless it's just to "go around telling people you're married"? If that's what you want to use him for, then that's not fair at all.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com