Tempted by the Fruit of Another
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been going out with my boyfriend for two years. I love him, and we're really comfortable with each other. However, I like this other guy, as of the past few months, and I can't stop thinking about him. I get that "tingly" feeling when our hands bump in the hallway, or when he looks at me at just the right moment. I havn't gotten that feeling from Joe for a very long time.
Here's my questions; Is it possible that I like the new guy because it seems romance is gone in my relationship (not to say that I dont' like him for himself, of course, but maybe it's being amplified)? Is it time for me to try someone else, as my current guy is the only boyfriend I've ever had, and I'm feeling this way because part of me wants to move on? I want to stay with my boyfriend, because I do love him, but I want to be with the new guy, too. And it's starting to physically hurt in my chest and head. Thank you.
There are ALWAYS going to be other guys out there that feel seductive, no matter who you are with. That is what hormones are all about. It is your job as a person in a relationship to draw the line so you aren't tempted by those situations.
You have a great boyfriend now that you love. You owe it to him not to let yourself get seduced by other random guys that come along. If it's not this current guy, then it'll be a guy in 3 years that works with you, or a guy in 6 years that you meet through a friend. There will always be other hot guys out there that you want. The responsibility of being in a relationship is that you turn those guys down, because of the love you have for your partner. If you and your partner can't trust each other to do that, then it's not a relationship.
If you were NOT happy with your boyfriend, and he was mean to you, then by all means drop him. But if you're happy and content with him, then work with him to add a little zing into your life. That's what working on a relationship is all about.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com