Am I A Virgin?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am 18 yrs old. i had a boy friend with whom i have broken up. I don't know whether the acts in which we involved was sex or what. He has seen me naked and fondled my breasts, and he has fingered into my pussy. Also with both of our undies on he would get on me as performing intercourse but never his penis has touched my vagina.

So am I a virgin? Advice
It sounds like you might have missed the biology class that most people take in high school! Virginity is about having intercourse for the first time. Intercourse is how a baby is made. That involves a penis going into a vagina and therefore risking the sperm getting in to the egg. It certainly has nothing to do with someone seeing somebody naked!! Does that mean that every boy who has ever seen a naked statue of a woman in a museum is suddenly not a virgin??

You can't get pregnant from fingers. You can't get pregnant from eyeballs. You are therefore still a virgin. But I'm not sure exactly why that matters. What you are isn't defined by a name. You are an individual who is unique and who has her own unique history. To define you as "virgin" or "not virgin" is treating you like a 12th century possession, where women were only important as a child-bearing creature. You are hardly that!!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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