How to Flirt with a Guy

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
This is so frustrating! I'm 20, I'm attending a great university, I'm intelligent, and athletic. Whenever I go out to clubs and bars guys always hit on me, etc. I rarely have to pay for food at restaurants when I have a male waiter, and even my friends' husbands hit on me (disturbing, yes).

I pledged a great sorority this year and we have our first dance coming up in a month. The problem: I have no one to ask! It is sooo embarrassing to be a sophomore in college and have no guy friends at all here. Am I not "good enough" for these private school boys or am I perhaps just putting up a wall (but I'm really friendly/nice)? Guys always chat w/ me, random ones smile at me around campus and stuff, but I have NEVER even been asked on a date.

My sorority has 11 crush-type events this semester and I'm dreading them all. I need advice on how to catch the interest of guys of this calibre before I crawl into a little hole of self-loathing. I feel out of practice as I havent ever been 1-on-1 with a guy in like 2 years. What can I do?? Advice
It sounds like you are into the taking advantage of guys aspect of life, but not in the friendship side!! Why in the world are you not paying for your own meals and using guys for money? That's not exactly the best way in the world to develop relationships, by using people. You see guys as trophies to achieve and people to use, but not just as normal people to talk with and be nice to.

It's time to come back down to earth. You're not on a pedestal waiting for a guy to come along and buy minks for you, and drag you off to the Riviera. You need to find guys to be a regular friend to, that they can trust, that they want to spend time with.

So start actually talking to the guys instead of luring them in with your spider talents! You have guys who are interested in you. So learn more about them. Don't sit around like a statue waiting for them to come take you out to a fancy dinner. Ask if they want to go see a movie. This isn't the 1600s. You are capable of asking the questions and making the offers. It's time to start. And don't make them pay!!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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