Stuck in a Routine
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We are best friends and it just always felt (feels) right. We have been living together for almost 2.5 years. We always had a great relationship but things did get in a routine....same thing day in and day out.
About 3 weeks ago he sits on the couch and tells me that he "doesn't know if he is in love with me". He left and took all of his things. About almost 3 weeks into the break up he calls and tells me that he misses me and takes me to dinner with roses and all. Then we have a serious talk the day after the date and we are going to try to start things over. We talked about things we BOTH need to work on in saving this relationship. We said that we are "not together" right now and we both need more space to make sure this will be right but still talk and "spend time together". We both have said that there is no one else we want to be with - we both made that clear. So we are going to take baby steps to try to regain what was lost.
Do you think that if we both really try to get things to be BETTER we will have a strong chance of a life together. My fear is that it will be back to "square 1" or the "same routine". Both of us said it we don't want that and he does have some growing up to do. Do you have any advise??
A routine is normal in a long term relationship! That is what people look forward to. It is the stability, maturity and long term love that will last the decades. If people feel *bored* that is in essence their own fault. Only you control what you do in life! If you want to learn how to tango, take tango lessons. If you want to go mountain biking, then go biking! If you are choosing to sit home and watch TV every night, you're making that choice. That's not the relationship's fault.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com