My Ex is Stalking Me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex- boyfriend of 3 years has been coming back into my life every year and tries to figure out if i have a boyfriend currently. He dumped me and has been with another girl for the past 2 years. He just stopped by the other day and wanted to know how i was. I hadnt heard from him for awhile because he wasnt very nice to me the last time we spoke.

But now... he wanted to know if i have gotten over the pain he caused me and if i was holding a grudge at him. He told me about his girlfriend ... and goes "but you don't care".... "but you don't care"... and I said "we'll you hurt my feelings. You dumped me and treated me badly."

He stayed at my house for about 45 minutes. He said "I just wanted to know that if i were to see you around we would be cool with each other". I said " I havent seen you around town since we broke up.. why would it happen now"? He goes "I'll be seeing you around".

Also.. I had been getting alot of private calls on my cell phone for about 2 weeks prior to him showing up at my house... and then when he came over .. i told him about this and he goes " How do you know it's not me?" He said he could get the number if he wanted to.

So basically my question is... Do you think he has feelings for me, or why is it that he keeps coming back year after year if he still has a "supposed" girlfriend??? Advice
There's a word for this kind of behavior - and it's stalking. The stalker still wants control over you - and he therefore starts calling you, demanding you have feelings for him and making it seem like it's YOUR fault if you don't play along with this.

A guy who does this doesn't have GOOD feelings for you. He wants to control you and torment you. I would cut him off. He likes playing with your emotions and he gets a high out of being able to manipulate you. Don't let him get away with this. Let him go use his girlfriend, if that's what he's into.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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