My Mom Keeps Me Away from my Girlfriend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My mother is keeping me away from my girlfriend, I have to make up stories just so I can go and see her.

I'm almost 19 years old, why doesn't my mom want me to be happy? Advice
OK there are several things here.

First, you ARE 19 years old. You are an adult. Just why are you letting other people choose things for you? If you are still living at home, it's about time you look into getting an apartment. I know many, many 19 year olds who are able to get a job even if they are in school. You make your own choices in life. If you choose to let your mom control your life, then you need to accept the consequences. You can easily choose to live on your own and handle your own life.

Next, your mother hardly wants you to be unhappy. NO mother wants her child to be unhappy. She is trying to make you *happy*. So apparently there is something about your girlfriend that she thinks is really going to hurt you. I know you love this girlfriend. But sit back and be honest here. One of THE most important things you can ever be in any relationship is to be honest. It is NEVER good to ignore bad things. You have to face them, talk about them, and find ways to deal with them.

So what ARE the bad things about your girlfriend? What are the dangers? Really think about them and consider them. And then sit down with your mom. TELL her you see those problems. Tell her you understand them! And then tell her how you are going to face them. That is what will show her you are an adult, and not a lying child.

You should never choose lying as a solution. Tell your mom the truth. You have to learn to accept the consequences of your actions. If you love this girl, stand by her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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