She's Got a Boyfriend and She's Flirting with Me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
About two months ago this girl just started working with me. We started out slow with a hello here and there. But about a week ago she all of a sudden started flirting with me (or at least I think it's flirting). She started off poking me and, then tickeling me and, bumping into me. I began flirting back by tickeling her and whatnot.

However, here is where it becomes confusing. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND. I knew she had a boyfriend all along but I figured a little flirting couldn't hurt. But now it has come to the point where I am just crazy for her. She is absolutly amazing and, I can communicate with her so well. Ironically she has been telling me how her boyfriend is boring and that he doesn't ever want to do anything except cuddle. This gives me the idea that she is losing interest in her boyfriend and is trying to send me a signal that she is showing interest in me. That same night she over heard that I was having pizza and wings at my house and mentioned that she would rather spend the time at my house for some pizza then spend the night with him.

When she left for work one night she gave me this soft touch on my back that sent a very comforting chill through my back. And then of course finished it off with a tickle to my stomach. Like I said before, I've been beginning to flirt back so that she can see I show interest in her. (There was something about that soft touch on my back)

Is it ok for me to ask her out on a simple date so we can talk? I feel this is the best way to get to know her.

I know some girls like to flirt however, out of all the guys I work with, I'm the only one she flirts with. Just thought you should know that. Advice
Now wait a minute. You're asking if it's OK to go on a date with a girl who has a boyfriend?? Yes you connect well with her. But let's take a hard look at the situation here. This girl has a boyfriend and she is quite comfortable flirting non-stop with another guy to the point that she tells him she'd rather be with him.

Now let's imagine forward a few months. Let's say you leap in there and start dating her. After a few months, the fireworks die down. Are you really going to trust this girl with ANY other guy out there, especially any guy that seems flirtatious or fun? She's already proving to you that she does whatever she wants to and cares nothing at all about the guy she has waiting for her back at home.

Flirting is always fun. You get those rushes of hormones going through you. But there are lots of girls out there that you can have a real relationship with. What you would have with this girl is a heartache.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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