He's Insecure and Jealous
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
We have been together for almost three years. The big problem is, my boyfriend's jealousy and insecurity. I have told him over and over again that I don't look at other guys, that I am content with him. We have had a great relationship as long as we are alone.
I have a job as a hairstylist and as a people person I like to people watch. I have not caught myself looking at other men at all but he insists I am looking for the tall, buff, millionaire and feels like I will leave him the minute one comes around. He is obsessed with what I wear in front of his one friend, whom I am not attracted to in the least but he is always saying I am flaunting myself in front of this so-called friend.
He also brings up little things from years to months ago, like I got a tatoo without telling him. I am a 43 year old woman who is not into these games and I feel myself explaining and begging him to believe me.
Help what do I do at this point? He has called off the realationship because I don't make him feel like he knocks me off my feet. My friends have all noticed how much I have put into this and how much fun and compatable we are. We enjoy all the same things, goals and future, but is there really a future for us?
Wow, he does sound very insecure and controlling. You are quite right. As an adult woman, the last thing you need is a "daddy" telling you what to wear, who to talk to and what you can do with your own life. And to top it all off it is now your job to entertain him and bolster up his faltering self esteem.
If you really want things to work out with him, go to therapy with him. If he is in his 40s and still has these sorts of problems, he isn't just going to "solve them" on his own. He needs someone who is trained in this area to give him some help in figuring out what is wrong and how to fix it.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com