Money Can't Buy Love

Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Male
I am 51 live in Cal. mex-american. she is 25 lives in Canada from India lives at home with her folks. We met on a trip that lasted 30 day all through Europe. We were together all the time , she treated me vey nice , and we got along great all the time . In the last year and a half I keep bringing up sending her to La Vegas to stay with me I told her I would get two rooms and i will pay for everything , I dont want her to think I want to just get in her pants. I buy her thing all the time xmas ,birthdays,Valantines, with a card as friends . I always write your friend.

She used to write off saying love but no more not even when i send her gifts it only thank you . Everyone tells me I'm being played the fool. She's too young, lives too far away and she is Hindu. She tells me her folks want her to marrying within her race, and she has to lie about coming to Vegas. If anyone found out no one would marry her she will say yes and then its no this has happened at least 6 times and that why we are always fighing about now a days.

I stop talking to her after sending her a very nice gift for xmas she didn't e-mail till Jan. 8 and she said it was because she didn't know what to tell only that maybe she can come this month. She keeps e-mailing me saying she sorry she want me to talk with her I know when i do the first thing coming up is the trip to Vegas.

I had told her i'll bet her a hundred dollars i can beat her in a 100 yard race. i dont know how this happened but now she said a 1000 dollars shoping spree. I feel as though im buying her friendship . I dont know if this is a smart move. once i pay for the trip close to 1,000 the trip is now in her name, i think she might use it to go eleswhere but im the one who keeps bringing it up evertime we talk on phone.

Do you think its worth the money to see what might happen i was thinking maybe spending 4,5 thousand dollars on her once there she would fall in love with me . how does this idea sound? Advice
Yikes, you are treating her like a prostitute!! You claim you treat her as a friend. But instead, you are buying things for her "as a friend" and then complaining that all she does is say thank you. You are trying to force her to come out to Vegas with you even though she has said clearly that this is very troubling for her family and causing her a lot of turmoil. So you are putting huge pressure on her and in return you're giving her tons of presents. Just what is anybody supposed to believe here?

You should NEVER try to buy love with money. The entire idea is flawed. Either she loves you as you are, as a friend, or she doesn't. If you believe the only way she will care about you is if you buy her things, then stop. Find someone locally who cares about you for what you are. And stop pressuring her by forcing her to do things she's uncomfortable with. If you treat her like a prostitute, she's going to behave like one. It's time you found a woman who you treated LIKE a woman, with respect.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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